I miss writing. i miss writing just to write. maybe my creative juices haven't dried up. maybe they have just flowed to different outlets. maybe living and people and doing things have replaced thinking and daydreaming and analyzing. maybe it was the time in my life. maybe it was the angst of a teen, now a young adult with different angst and different stresses and different ways to relieve them. in some ways, writing was more pure than the ways i choose to think about things now. i think writing made me face things more, now it seems like i'm running away. i don't know if that's true. i just finished the perks of being a wallflower; i really liked it. i liked the simplistic writing style. i'm attempting to mimic it in this…whatever you call it. i miss my rambles that went on with no punctuation yet made sense only to me my jabber yammers or whatever i used to call them i miss them greatly i never put spaces in them before to indicate pauses but hey some things change right? i like charlie from my book because he thinks a lot, like i used to do. he thinks things i think, he puts things i've thought into words i could not. did i used to cherish the alone time, or did i just come up with ways to cope with it or enrich it, because it was inevitable? that was ten years ago, how can i expect things to have stayed the same? how could i even want them to? can i honestly tell myself i was better then than now? i guess so, in some ways i was. i was more pure, more "good". at least i think so. where am i hoping to go with this? i need a theme, a topic, a subject. love? hate? my mom? i don't know if i want to talk about any of these. i wish i could just always draw robots. they are easy. i wish i could say something profound that would make someone want to quote it. something that would make the cartoon lightbulb go off above someone's head when they hear it. something that makes them go "ah ha!" i miss feeling profound, i miss feeling infinite. can i stop missing things and instead enjoy things now and look forward to things? am i more cynical and negative now? and why do i have so many questions? i bet you half of the punctuation up to this point is question marks. that's sort of annoying. i'll see if i can just make statements. like: i am tired. like: i should really clean my apartment rather than write about nothing. like: somehow this is therapeutic. like: gosh i miss blogging, sort of. i really used to blog a lot. perhaps i'll post this in my blog. i may take a nap.