i cried at work today.

oh, i guess it's been long enough since i've written in here that i didn't actually have a job last time. i started on the 25th of january or somewhere around there. i'm now in my 5th week. one of my coworkers, rich, is out for the week traveling for work. today, 2/22, which is typically a bad day, was a bad day. it's one of those days that is bad every year but i don't realize til halfway (or more) through that of course i'm having a bad day, it's 2/22. so it's not like i anticipate it being bad or set it up or anything. it just ends up sucking every time. i think i took my mom's unlucky numbers and they became my own.

so, like i said, one of my three coworkers is out for the week. that meant that the three of us that were there had it busier than normal. it also meant that i was on the help desk inbox, which i thought about last week but forgot about today, and which my boss reminded me of around 11:30 or so. there were already over 10 emails in there, half of which i didn't know what to do with, and every time i tried to look at them the phone rang. there were a few rude people i spoke with and a couple that were simply exasperating. around 3:30 or 4 i found out i messed up some tickets i'd done. i hadn't included some necessary info, and the company gets audted on these issues so they need to be done right. it's reversible and i will fix it tomorrow, but my boss has to run a report to find all the tickets i created for this issue and just the fact that i fucked up and all the calls and all the emails finally got to me and i got really overwhelmed. and i started to cry. which i hate doing in front of people. it's so embarrassing. omar, the one guy left, was really nice and understanding about it, but i just felt like such a jackass.

since then i've been in a pretty weird mood - half neutral and half depressed. feels pretty crappy. i'm going to bed.

i can't believe i cried at work. ugh.