I just found this and I think it's hilarious:

THE RULES
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty......0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.....-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
In the snow .....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
And it's her cat.....-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team.....-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED).....-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, "Where?".....-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your ass".....-100
Any other response.....-20

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well, what do you think I should do?".....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200

ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself.....-1000

GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!!!

As an outsider I feel bad for both parties. I'm sorry you both have to go through this.

Now it's time for my Thanksgiving break in review.

It was great! I was not expecting to have as good a time as I did. Somehow it flew by so fast, but it also feels like it's been a long time since I've been at school, and I'm so excited to go back and see everyone (I know I make it sound as if I've been gone for a few weeks...that's how it feels). Wed night was great - went to Phran's. Thursday was awesome because it was filled with delicious food. Friday was fun because my mom and I went to her office and I got many many office supplies (tons of pens and other goodies), we got my watch fixed, and we dropped my earrings off to be fixed, and Fri night I went to the Pringles' for a while.

Yesterday my mom and I ran errands, and I've convinced her to get me a digital camera for the holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Seriously my life will be complete. It's the Canon Powershot A75. I would've gotten it yesterday but first off today they started a sale where it comes w/ a "free" 128 MB memory card, and my mom has a feeling there will be a price war w/ digital cameras as it gets closer to Christmas. But seriously I am so freaking excited!!!!!! And last night I went to Adrians which was a good time. This morning I hooked up my mom's new printer and her new fax machine, and now all I have left to do is possibly run (I have made a goal to start working out again, due to the fact that the blub blub blub is back with a vengeance), take a nap, shower, and get all my shit together so we can drive back. I get to take my mom's dell printer with me back to school, which is especially exciting because it's also a scanner and a copier!! Now I can scan pictures, finalllllllyyyyy, though I won't need to once I have my digital camera!!

I am really excited to go back and see people. :-D

Since it's Thanksgiving I feel the need to make a brief list of things I am thankful for.

• My family, the only people I know will always care about me and support me when I need it.
  
• More specifically, my mom. I am thankful that she is close to being done this. I am thankful for everything she's done for me and the life I have, which is only the way it is because of her. I am thankful for the fact that when I have a problem she always makes it better. And I am thankful for everything she's taught me.
  
• Also more specifically, my grandparents, who have also helped mold my life into what it is today.
  
• The amazing amazing dinner I had tonight (aka last night as of an hour and a half ago). Turkey, apple sauce, the best stuffing in the entire world ever (I am not exaggerating), asparagus, yams, tea, and cinnamon buns.
  
• For my friends.
  
• For everything I am priveleged enough to have, all the experiences I've had and places I've been.
  
• For all the circumstances that have made me the way I am right now.
  

That's it for now, cause I have to get up at 8:45 to help my mom w/ some stuff.

How sad is it that I'm missing school already and I've only been gone since Wednesday afternoon?

That's not to say that I'm not having a good time here - last night was really fun (went over to Phran's) and dinner tonight was great, plus my mom and I watched Saved! and Stepford Wives (and she watched the third Matrix). Yeah.

Last year I was excited to go home. Now I am not.

I am mopey and sad and I already miss everyone even though not everyone is gone yet. Five days is a long time. Six, even.

I don't want to just sit here and sulk all night. This sucks.

I don't know why I feel so depressed right now but I do. Mopey Magee.

I was just home, too.

Trying to be positive, here are the things I have to look forward to at home:

-Seeing my friends (Meghan will be home....Rachel will be there Saturday night but Tom not at all)
-Help my mom out

---This is making me sad. I don't want to go home.

It makes me sad a little bit when I quote myself from old blog posts. With blatant disregard of that: "I was going to say 'never a dull moment.' Except for right now. This moment is very dull."

I thought it was funny, cause it describes things right now very well.

I am currently blogging out of boredom and procrastination. I am at the beginning chapter nine in the jazz book. I have to read through chapter 13. I don't like reading.

Oh I know! I could do german. No wait, I don't want to do that either. I am bored bored bored bored.

Maybe I will write about my terrible terrible morning and then try to go back to reading. Here goes:

I drove back to school last night and then drove back home today. Last night it took me 25 minutes to get to school. This morning it took me over an hour. Why, you ask? Because the fucking morons who run this city closed every road I wanted to take.

The first road that was closed was 33rd street, right at Spruce, which is where I always turn to go to West River Drive. That meant I had to turn around and go all the way back to 37th street, then go to Market. Fine. I go down 33rd street and go onto the first part of West River Drive. At a light there were some barriers across the road ahead, perhaps implying that the road was closed. But I saw people driving from that direction, so I simply thought it better NOT be closed and drove between a space in the barriers. Naturally it was closed.

Since this had happened to me before and I had taken Kelly Drive home, I figured I'd do the same thing. So I turned around, drove all the way back to Market Street, and headed towards Kelly Drive. Fine. I get to the parkway and there are hoards of people walking around. It was clear that there was some sort of even going on - probably a race, as many of them were wearing running attire (and some weird silver capes, which I don't really understand). As I got to the part of the parkway that spits you onto Kelly Drive I see that there are barricades blocking it off, and all the traffic is being directed elsewhere. Great.

At this point I am freaking out. How am I supposed to get home? I just want to be home, why is this happening?? Seriously, what fucking pea-brained idiots decided it would be a good idea to close both of those roads? Smoke was coming out of my ears I was so mad.

I called my grandmother and got myself completely upset as I drove down some road in the wrong direction. She was going to direct me down some weird back roads all the way home, and I decided I'd just rather go on the expressway, because it would be the easiest thing to do. I ended up back at Market and had to drive back down the street I took to get to Kelly Drive, but turned onto the expressway instead.

Let me interject to say that I have a huge fear of driving on highways. My grandmother was in a car accident a few years ago and since then I have been really aware of how easy it is to get hurt in a car.

Anyway, I had my grandmother stay on the phone (my cellphone has speakerphone so I didn't have to hold on to it while I was driving) while I was on the expressway, and she tried to calm me down.

After the expressway I was going to go on Ridge. But it was closed. Because why would any roads be open in this fucking city? I had to go on Lincoln Drive, which is also not a fun road, but it was like buttah compared to the fucking expressway (which I was fine on, I was just freaked out).

FINALLY after about an hour of that crap I got home, completely flustered and upset.

I now feel the need to bitch to some higher-up about how dumb they are for allowing this to happen. If I had been driving someone to the hospital, they would have died.

Maybe you think this is strange, and maybe you don't do it, but since my junior year of high school, every time I get involved with someone (relationship-wise) I feel that I can predict who will get hurt when it ends. I realize that this is strange: why, at the beginning of something, am I thinking about the end of it? Should I not enter a relationship knowing it will end?

I can't explain it. I have not always been right, but I am generally pretty on target.

Regardless, it seems to go back and forth: I am hurt, the other person is hurt, then me again, etc.

It's a very strange pattern, to say the least.

It's not as if I go into things hoping they'll end; of course I want them to last. But I think I am realistic in realizing that few things last between people my age. We are constantly changing and finding new things we like or don't like, and we graduate, move, transfer, etc. With things being so uncertain in our lives (no matter how much certainty we think we have), I just don't think many things have the ability to last.

I don't think I'm wrong, but I hope I am.

If the scale in the runners' house is five pounds off like they say it is, I am only a pound and a half away from my ideal weight in life.

Last night was fun - Loafers show w/ Breton, his friend Kevin, and this girl Meghan. Fun fun times.

Met w/ an undergrad advisor yesterday. She didn't tell me what to do with my life, but she did start my worksheet.

I also emailed the music undergrad chair and the spanish undergrad chair, and I'm gonna meet w/ the spanish guy next week to talk about majoring in spanish.

Oh life.

My heart is about to pound out of my chest.

[edit]

Just as I am figuring out what I want, which, ironically enough, is the thing I thought I didn't want, I am also coming to the realization that I am not going to get it. Not right now at least. This is one of the many reasons that I am feeling sort of depressed at the moment. I know this is cryptic but I have to be.

I'd like to focus on the positive but I am worn out and am only seeing all the sad things right now.

The show last night was awesome. It is so much fun to be a part of something so awesome and so fun. The party afterwards was fun too, but apparently I missed a bunch of the alumni singing, which I'm bummed about.

My night ended in pretty much the most neutral way possible. There are at least five drastically different ways it could have gone, some of which are not good at all.

I think ferchatted is the best way to describe how I feel right now.

Show 1 of 2 tonight. Went awesomely. It doesn't feel real. I can't believe we actually had a show tonight. We sold out, and we're definitely selling out for tomorrow (I think we have maybe 20 tickets left). This is so much fun.

I am exhausted!

I had to.

Ok, I didn't actually have to at all. But I did. Annnd I shouldn't have, I know it. Curiosity finally won out, though my willpower did last a fairly long time.

I regret it. But not so much that I can't get over it.

You are so ugly. I don't mean you look ugly. I mean you are an ugly person inside. Maybe you are just messed up, you know one of those things where you had some crazy thing happen in your childhood and as a result you are socially fucked now. Fucked. Not just socially.

I only regret it because I hate being reminded of that. And now, more than ever, I'm being reminded of what I don't have. What I myself didn't want and am really starting to want because I think, deep down, I probably always wanted it but didn't know it or didn't acknowledge it. I don't even know what I'm saying. I don't know what I want. I am starting to know what I want more and more. But then I realize that the option isn't even there. It's sort of a take it or leave it situation right now. I just don't know.

You are a bad person. I am less invested in caring, though, because you are a spec and nothing more.

It's a lot more inspiring to blog when you know people are reading...

With that said...it's funny how right after I posted about no one doing anything nice for me, someone did something nice for me. Thanks :)

I'd like to judge this day not by how most of it went, but by how it's ending: not so bad.

I will try to tell a shortened version of the story so I can go to bed.

I got 4 hours of sleep 2 nights ago. Wanted to sleep a lot last night. I was awakened at 10 by a random man opening my door, which I had locked the night before. Turns out he was here to redo the kitchen floor. Supposedly they'd told one of my housemates they were coming at 9:30, but I was never informed. I pretty much bitched at him and said that I needed to sleep and they needed to not be making noise. They said they'd come back at 1. I wanted to get up at 11:30, ended up oversleeping til 12:45. I had two hours to finish arranging Jojo and to do a german composition and shower. I ended up rushing to do all of them, did a crappy job on the composition, got all flustered about jojo because I couldn't figure out how to change something on it or how to get it to print the way I wanted, so I ended up being 15 minutes late to class. Before I got to class I walked by Jason selling tickets on the walk and I showed him something on the arrangement that I couldn't figure out how to change and he thought I was bitching at him so he called me back a minute later and bitched at me. I started to cry and told him that I wasn't trying to have an attitude, and I was so flustered and upset by the time I got to german.

I have a german test tomorrow. I am skipping two classes to study for it. I have to sell tickets on the walk from 10 - 11. In the cold. I am not excited. I am still fighting this cold and I don't want to lose, but sitting outside will not be good for me. I also have to email a spanish composition to my teacher tomorrow and I haven't done it. Might not do it on time. Selling tix 11 - 1 on Friday too.

In theory today I got one of the worst headaches I've ever had ever. It was awful. Then when we were singing I started feeling really shaky and dizzy and thought I might faint. That was not good.

But the day got better after that. I took some Tylenol cold and that made me feel great. I started having fun singing the songs again, and we went over Jojo and I am excited for it. Then I got back and talked to some people online who really comforted me about life.

So now, with all that said, fairly briefly for the way I tell stories, I am off to get ready for bed. Ohhh sweet sweet sleepytime. I think I will fall asleep to Camilla again. Awesome awesomeness.

Also...I am really excited for the show. But also really nervous. I don't think I sound great on my solo. But I will try. Bed now, for serious.

I'm a posting machine tonight. Here's another.

I hate the question "What are you going to do with your life?". It's possibly the worst question out there, excluding "Where do you see yourself in x amount of years?". I used to always answer the last question with a smartass answer: I will be x number of years older.

After I'd gotten accepted to college I was told to fill out a sheet that would be given to my advisor. One of the questions was "where do you see yourself in five years?" My answer: "My magic eight ball says 'Reply Hazy, Try Again'."

...Because when the answer is clear, I will officially be a fortune teller and can then say that in five years I will be making money by telling other people their future.

I won't even delve into the topic of fate and destiny and all that crap.

The quote, which I will botch, goes something like this:

"You have the freedom to choose, but there is no choice."

Oh and btw:

Muse Saturday night was fucking awesome.

And we sang on Y100 today (well....yesterday by the clock) and it went really well. They said Muse is doing a sonic session on Thursday and that we should sing for them cause we're doing Time Is Running Out. I would crap my pants if I got to meet Muse. Seriously.

If I know something will make someone happy or I can go a little bit out of my way to do something nice for another person, I usually do it.

It would be nice to feel like others did the same for me. At this point in time the only person who goes out of their way to do things for me is my mom. It would just be nice if someone saw something and said "oh, she'd like this," or maybe brought me flowers or made my bed or...just small things like that really make a difference to me. Sometimes I feel like the little things I do are completely unappreciated. So why do I even do them? Mainly because I think of how I'd want to be treated and I try to treat others the same way, specifically in this case. For example, I hate it when people come in my room and don't put things back how they found them or leave it really messy, so I try to respect others' rooms. Stuff like that.

It's common courtesy, but also a little more. Come on, people.

A year ago (well, in two hours from now it will be a year...) I said "Do you ever have a moment where you just think 'what the fuck am I doing?'"

It's funny cause I've sort of been wondering that recently. Actually, it's been more like an "I can't believe this is happening" kind of thing.

If you had told me a year ago that this is how things would be, I would have smacked you and called you a big fat liar.