We are back from Jamaica. I had a really great time, so it is unfitting that I am in such an upset right now.

I take that back. It's completely fitting. I had a great time being away from all my problems. Pretty much every area of my life is unstable right now. I can't think of anything certain in my life, in fact, that I am happy about. This is probably one of the worst feelings there is. The future, as I see it, is a bleak haze filled with never-ending family obligations of the negative persuasion. The future me is alone with few friends, all of whom are off doing their own amazingly successful things, some pursuing their dreams, others raking in the big bucks while I am left behind, either jobless or in an unfulfilling job I chose because I needed some kind of income. Et cetera.

It is a shame my return from such a great vacation is overshadowed by all this, but I can't pretend everything is wonderful when it's not. My mom used to tell me "this too shall pass" and "let not your heart be troubled." Somehow those two short phrases coming from her meant that everything would be ok. I haven't heard her say them in a long time and maybe it's because everything will not be ok.

I will try to write a happier post later about how great the trip was and how sweet our pool was and how the whole trip flew by because of the saying we all know and love about time and having fun, because it's all true.

I will end this post with something I did about a year ago.

Words that begin with "j":

Jamaica, joy, jubilant, java, javascript, jerk, jesus, january, jeer, jolt, jail, jar, jarring, jet, jay, jujubee, jolly,

...gotta love posts i forget to finish til the next morning...