I felt so alone last night.
That's all, right?
That's alright.

I am sort of alone now, save for one person (I feel) at this time, although maybe not even them. [I think not even the one. Because of tonal discernation problems.] And my mom. I wanted to call her last night and cry, but it was 2 a.m. and I figured she wouldn't appreciate it.

It's somewhat comforting to realize (or to believe) that I can say "Hey guys, it's not me. Hormones made me do it."

I really needed my blog last night. It helps me sort through my thoughts.

I was lying in bed, and I know that I'm only like this because... but feelings always have at least a hint of truth. I was thinking about how alone I am. Two are gone because when you get older you change, and because of a wedge (for one), and because of Hydrogen bonding. I think I only get ionic or covalent bonding. Whichever is the weakest. Because I feel like the arrows always point away from me, and never towards. Maybe I'm wrong, and I'm only making it worse by thinking about it, and seeing the words here is certainly not helping. But I can't help it. And another, because people are people, and people are selfish. And that's basially it. Well, another by chance, and because I am moody and feeling sorry for myself. Because my selfish, spoiled ass has it oh so hard. Even if everyone hated me, my life would still be better than the people who have no food or shelter. I still feel sorry for myself, though, only now I feel selfish, stupid, greedy, and, for kicks, I'll throw in childish. How bout fat, too? Undesirable. GROSS AND DISGUSTING AND NO ONE SHOULD EVEN WANT TO BE AROUND ME. I probably smell.

* * * * *

I don't like people, in general. They talk shit. I was in the senior retreat one day during a free, and people were sitting there talking trash on their best friends. I hope my friends don't say shit about me behind my back.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, I think I broke something in my left hand. Every time I try to grasp something, or if I move my thumb in a certain way, it really hurts.

* * * * *

Sometimes it really bothers me when people try to be cute. And they use baby speak. Because they think it "soooo bewwwy cyooote!!!" It's really not. And the reason I think some people shouldn't do some things is because they're not mature enough.

I hate when people whine like they're 5. I'm sure I do this.

I didn't say I'm not a hypocrite, ok?