I couldn't decide whether or not to make this a ton of short blogs, or one long one. I decided on the latter
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Is it strange that I feel alone in large groups of people? I can't tell if it's always like that, or if it's just because of who is there.
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I hate when different groups form and I feel like I'm not in any of them.
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I don't like being ignored.
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I hate having to compete for attention. I hate feeling like I have to compete for attention.
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I don't like when I do something for someone and they don't even notice.
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It comforts me and it bothers me at the same time. Now I know that one threat isn't real, but I also know that the one I had hoped wasn't...is.
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I am sad that all my friends are going away. It reminds me of college. What's worse is they aren't as sad as me.
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I need a job.
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"These days I wish I was six again. Oh, make me a red cape. I wanna be Superman." - John Mayer
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I have no people skills, and I don't know how to fix that. I can't just "get out and meet people," because I have no people skills. It's a vicious cycle.
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I should learn to take risks.
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You can't live every day as if it's your last, because it's not.
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There are consequences.
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She told me I live more in the real world than them in some ways, but I don't like my version of the real world. I'd like to trade it in for a better one; for the one they all have. It's like I'm on beta 2 and they're on beta 50.
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How do I de-rut myself?
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I'm being really vague.
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The worst thing is not being able to pinpoint what's wrong when you're crying.
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I need to work on not being so obvious with some things.
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In a year, my life will not end (it's not supposed to, at least). I'm trying not to use the cliched metaphors about doors or chapters opening and closing/beginnging and ending.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

If only I could really make myself believe this.
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This is really long, and I shouldn't be awake now. I'm going back to bed.
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I need to do parallel parking. I hope I pass my driver's test, but I don't think I will.
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If I don't have faith in myself, who will? Can I count on anyone to have enough faith to make up for my lack of it? I shouldn't.
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If I am not for myself, who will be?
If I am only for myself, what am I?
If not now, when?
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What am I going to do with myself?
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This makes me nervous.
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FINALLY!!!! I FIXED THE TAGBOX!